Crud

Gonna leave for Taiping in a few hours, a good start to my holidays :)

Gonna try to chill.

Gonna do some reflecting.

Gonna be cool.

With the sem ended, a lot of things came to mind, the idea of going to find a job soon, graduating, adapting and what not has been bothersome. Life ain't what it was 2 years ago, life ain't gonna be the same 2 years from now, live in the present, hope for the best in the future.

I suppose, that, in the past half a year, i've grown in thinking, thinking more responsibly, maybe due to whatever is happening to my family, to things. One thing for sure, i won't live life like a pile of crap.

I promise i won't end up like this roman catholic who came to my house and scolded my mom for not knowing where my neighbor (the amazon lady) went, my mom is her keeper now? You, being religious and supposedly upright, why now only you come to help this poor neighbor of mine, where are you when she needed your help at her worst times? Hypocrite.

Holidays.

Yet shoulders are heavy. People crying in front of you isn't the best times in my. Maybe thats why i avoid being a counselor. Don't think i can handle it.

Met up with an old friend earlier, how did he get where he was? I realized being a real friend, albeit a jackass sometimes, much better than striving to be the "right" friend. Funny how things work this way, humans often try too hard and bring misery upon themselves.

I rather enjoy what i do than what i should do. But for now, balancing both ain't easy.

Well, the only sure thing i guess i could say right now about my life? Won't cut hair till December.

Prison Gate

Fellow friends, if you remember we made a bet on who marry first and marry last couple years ago. Specifically 2007. Unfortunately i lost the original paper of that account, so boys and girls, time to revise the whole thing!

We got quite a few people, now we can add more. We got Jeff, Justin, Nesh, Nie, Ong-sama, Envyno, Keren, myself, TKH, Hoc, Charis and some more?

Plus the game has changed! Some got together with another, some still dead single (Exhibit A: Me). So, probably funner now to revise the bet, if you all still keen....

-TurnBack-

Dunderfunk

Two more exams to go! Then holidays [plus do thesis 2 :( ]

Been playing guitar a bit more lately, realized shouldn't let things get in the way of things i'm passionate about.

On a brigther note, i've been sleeping more, dreams are fun. Will chronicle it.

..We Trust

Lyrics playing in my head

I forgot the time we've met

Misplaced guidance in a book

The faith my wave overtook

I dare not say it now

The words are to my tongue foul

This is the place where my body rest

No more, no more being obsessed

I shall speak, one truth remains

Ignorance now is to remain sane

Anything more more would be more loss

Shall life now be decided by a coin toss

In whom shall we trust?

In the end, we all go back to dust.

-Babel-

Flash

School days, the dumb things we did:

1. go toilet for lepak sessions. Often me and friend will ask teacher during class permission to head to the loo. On our way there, we cue few more people from other class to come along. Then we all go to the toilet and pee. My record for peeing is 8 seconds.
2. Go disciplinary room and check out chicks phone number and address in the student records. Then after school we go search for the place. Since then we always go to that place to "walk".
3. Form 3 is the ONLY year i cannot remember studying. Everyday i look forward to go to school, because we would play "timbang" with the shuttlecock, fake wrestling moves, talk ghost stories, wonder how did the footprint ended up on top of the ceiling, make jokes of teachers. I honestly, cannot, even remmeber studying a bit in form 3. Other years can.
4. Play pens. ZOMG. PENS. WTH. Use pens to hit other pens off the paper. I KNOW.
5. Being awesome in moral class. Moral is one of the most no brainer subject, yet some of my classmates cannot pass. Why? Why am i awesome in such a worthless subject, i probably still can remember some of the 80 values i learned (shut up, my time was 80 values only, i'm old!). But my friend and i, we always rocked in moral class. Ultimately, proved useless in life.
6. During canteen day, i brought an egg from home and ask the prefects' stall to fry it for me, dumb prefects, why do you stare?!?
7. Friend and I would write on the plastic table we sat on to communicate with the girl sitting at the same place but in the afternoon session. Thought we hit the jackpot, till we saw their faces.
8. One time in chemistry class, a classmate pull the pin off the fire extinguisher and it shot out the foams like water. It was wayyy cool. What? Nope, we didn't care to clean it up. Hey, the school hired a cleaner for a reason ok.
9. Called a sissy a sissy and posted up a newspaper article which bears his name on some sexual assault case, only to have his favorite teacher complaining to the higher ups, and the higher ups is my churchmember who decided that corporal punishment wasn't enough, instead humiliation was the better way to learn my lesson, by giving a random speech in the school aseembly. I think i nailed it, and nope, didn't learn me lesson.
10. Dumbest thing would be studying. hahaha. Studying. Sigh.
    -'Sup?-

From Dust

We forget things, and we are forgotten.

If we could always remember the fine print, the smallest of it all in a page, then wouldn't it bring back smile again?

Cats in the Cradle

When i have the time, i want and will:

• write a song
• hike up a mountain
• write a script
• go for audition to act on stage
• learn to dance
• learn to fix the car engine
• raise a kid
• shoot a short film
• write a book
• attend a ball
• throw a party
• drive to every state in m'sia and fly to sabah and sarawak
• cycle
• spend time doing community work
• ride a horse
• take up fencing
• paint
• have a picnic outing
• cook a proper full course meal
• bake a cake

But, all i should do now is:

• Study
• Finsih up my thesis
• Graduate
• Get a job
• Care for everyone else
• Be resilient
• Fake a smile
• Sort out my stand on Christianity
• Be supportive
• Be financially stable
• Secured in life
• Manage my time properly
• Obeying written and implied rules
• Be available

Though some things are "important" in life, i think it is not essential,

just that over the years and centuries of human living, we forged a metaphorical prison upon our own lives, instead of seeing beyond it, we like being in the 4 walls that puts us in our place, governed by "responsibilities" and "priorities" who act as our jail wardens.

I will suspend my beliefs for you, to blur out people who say where you will go, you my dear childhood friend, whom never fail to cheer me up when i go to you, who, despite all your troubles, became who you are and forever remembered that way, if religion permits me not to see you again, then goodbye is now. Goodbye.

-Hollow-